How New Zealand saved the world
Note: the following is a dramatisation that includes some speculation.
Prime minister Jacinda Ardern was working late in the Beehive one January evening. She was tired and stressed because she had spent the preceding month dealing with a national crisis in the form of the #TurnArdern movement. While the population of New Zealand had been scandalised and were clamouring for retribution, she had drawn on her preternatural reserves of kindness to hold them at bay.
But before she went home her mind turned towards disturbing reports of viral pneumonia in Wuhan, China. Donald Trump and Boris Johnson had said there was nothing to worry about but something about the numbers had her concerned. Ardern got a calculator out and crunched the stats and realised something was amiss.
She got on the phone to Trump, Johnson and Scott Morrison but they just laughed at her. It was just the flu, they said, and if we take swift action then that might jeopardise tax cuts for billionaires. Ardern knew little old New Zealand would be on its own again.
The prime minister texted Simon Bridges and he rudely replied telling her to call him in the morning.
The next day, Ardern presented her findings to epidemiologists and they agreed that they had to move fast and early. This was a hard decision for the PM, because the Pasifika festival and March 15 remembrance would be coming up soon. However, she knew that it would be better to cancel these events early rather than the last minute so that’s what she did.
First she called Simon Bridges though and explained what had happened to him. He complained about why she hadn’t called him last night. The prime minister bit her tongue because she knew Simon was under a lot of stress.
Bridges asked her if she would keep what he said next secret and she agreed. He said that he would dog whistle about her not acting fast enough at first but if her actions impacted the profits of his rich mates he would undermine her and not be kind. She reminded him that people might die and he said he didn’t care because it is corporate profits that matter the most.
The prime minister wasn’t angry about this but she was disappointed. This is just how National people are she reminded herself shaking her head sadly.
Soon the whole world was struggling with the pandemic but not NZ, the little country that once again had shown the world the way. The leaders who had done a bad job called Jacinda and asked her to help their nations. Even though they had mocked her when she sounded the alarm she didn’t say I told you so and instead was very kind to them.