Kris Faafoi came within inches of losing his job as a minister for doing something he shouldn’t have. He remains in cabinet for the simple reason that he didn’t do what he said he would. Usually it’s the other way round for politicians. Yes, it’s quite a tangle and this is precisely why judgment is such a key part of the political job description.

Faafoi today apologised to the Prime Minister and the public for offering to help “an old family friend” with an immigration problem. That old friend was Op Shop lead singer Jason Kerrison and the favour involved Kerrison’s mother. She has married a Kenyan man and Immigration New Zealand aren’t convinced of the sincerity of their relationship. When Kerrison went public with his story in October, INZ said they had to be convinced the relationship was “credible, genuine and stable, and likely to endure”. Kerrison said they shouldn’t define love, but the agency countered that they were declined due to the lack of a relationship timeline and no evidence of financial interdependency, Newshub reported.

But it turns out there was more to the story than two star-crossed lovers. Kerrison had reached out to his “bro” Kris Faafoi for help with his mum’s problem back in August, before going public. Thing is, Kerrison’s initial approach wasn’t the minefield Faafoi turned it into. He asked in his first message, “can you direct me to someone who can help me immediately?”

Here’s how Faafoi could have replied: “Hey bro - Really sorry to hear about your mum. As a minister I can’t show any special treatment for a friend, but let me put you in touch with your local MP, whose job it is to help you. Best wishes with it”.

Instead, despite a career as a political reporter, press secretary, branch chair, backbencher and minister (including previously being the associate minister of Immigration) – a life spent swimming in politics – he replied thus: “Hey bro – I will make a call on Monday. I know it is genuine as I know you travelled for the wedding a few years back. I will talk to the people that can speed things up.”

He offered to make a call and “speed things up”. These are things ministers should never – never – offer to do for a friend. Why? Because power comes with responsibility, not personal privileges. Because politicians represent the people equally, they don’t treat some more equally than others. Because you can’t use the public service to do favours for your mates.

It’s not rocket science.

Six days after that exchange, Faafoi seemed to wake up. He told Kerrison he couldn’t “deal with it directly” because it created a conflict of interest. He said he’d put Kerrison onto his MP in Northland, National’s Matt King. And it seems he made that call.

He could and should have left it there. Instead, he contacted Kerrison’s mother, Jude. Faafoi is asking for details and, even after recognising his conflict, reassures Kerrison with the words “whanau whanau, mate” and “I’m on it bro”.

This is where Faafoi is within an inch of destroying his career.

The Cabinet manual states that: "a conflict may arise if people close to a Minister, such as a Minister's family, whānau, or close associates, might derive, or be perceived as deriving, some personal, financial, or other benefit from a decision or action by the Minister or the government."

Whanau, whanau indeed. Fully aware of a conflict, he is still offering special treatment for the benefit of an old family friend.

National’s Nick Smith endured a similar scandal in 2012. Most ministerial sackings in recent years have involved bullying, members of the opposite sex, credit cards and other entitlements… that sort of thing. But Smith lost his portfolios because he wrote a letter in support of a friend. His error was exacerbated by the fact the letter involved the ACC and he was ACC minister at the time.

What saved Faafoi today is that he never wrote a letter. He never contacted a public servant to aid Kerrison and his mother. Despite his commitment to the singer that he was “on it”, he wasn’t. Unless there’s more to come on this story, that lie has saved him. If he had been “on it”, if he had intervened in any way beyond called Matt King, we could and should have expected to see him sacked today.

Faafoi summed it up well himself – “I said some dumb things but I did not do the wrong thing”.

Yet let’s be clear – even the “dumb” indication to Kerrison he would intervene on his mother’s behalf is a serious lapse of judgment and it wouldn’t have been outrageous for Ardern to have sacked him for it. The problem for her is that he’s a rare competent minister in a cabinet that’s been consistently under-performing and there was no investigation to be had or case to be closed that would allow a quiet re-instatement down the track.

So he remains in the job as Minister of Broadcasting, Digital Services and Commerce.

But in a week when another poll showed Labour sliding – a week where Faafoi was front and centre showing some rare “delivery” in terms of tackling petrol prices and plain English insurance contracts – this is yet another shot in the party’s foot.

The takeaway for voters this weekend, is that Labour again looks like a wobbly ship with a crew of keystone ministers. The only thing keeping it afloat are the political instincts of its captain.

Labour should be strolling comfortably towards Election 2020, but instead a repeatedly tripping themselves up. What Labour needs more than anything now is discipline and judgement. Simple as that. With them, they have the policy and fiscal arsenal to win. Without them, anything could happen.